The Last Shutdown (32)

During 8th grade someone gave me a laptop, complete with built-in speakers and microphone, modem card, floppy drive and Windows 95. It was a wonder! For a short time I used it to do stuff like type up top-secret documents. After a while I got tired of using nothing but Paint, QBASIC and WordPad. After letting it sit in my desk drawer for a few months I decided to take it out and see what the inside of a dinosaur computer looked like. And of course after taking it apart, I couldn't be bothered to put it back together again. My computer slept comatose for the next several years until more recently I tried to repair it, in a desperate attempt to recover one of those "top-secret" documents. For one last spectacular moment, I managed to revive the tired machine long enough to retrieve the file. Then my lovely old laptop breathed its last.

My English teacher just gave me a wonderful opportunity to pay a final tribute to my aged laptop by having me post a eulogy. To my faithful laptop:

Thank you for your dedicated service to me during our short time together. You helped me express my thoughts and then held onto them for me. Although you weren't that bright, and your memory was limited, I could always here you humming as you worked. You possessed many fine qualities, being accurate, organized, ready to listen, good at keeping secrets, and as quick as your slow thinking could allow you to be. You have lived a full life, having seen ten generations. I must apologize for ending your life in such a tragic way. Your final moments however, were truly your finest; right up until the end you gave, holding nothing back. I hope I have somehow expressed the true spirit of a laptop computer. I bid you a fond farewell as you leave for that better place that all good laptops go to.